she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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