I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
