maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
