So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
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Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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