Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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