there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
