He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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