he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just google imaged poop.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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