it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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