She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
