theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
