I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize