I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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