No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
