He asked to "fluff my boner.."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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