So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
