How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize