Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize
