We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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