My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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