I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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