Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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