You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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