Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
