does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
