Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
it glows. i had to have it.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
