He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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