you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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