Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
