i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
