but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
