When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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