You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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