I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
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I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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