Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
