Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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