1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
