lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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