At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize