I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
