so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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