ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize
