so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I would fuck him just for his dog
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
