The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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