That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
