Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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