Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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