I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Randomize
