I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My vagina is officially offended.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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