If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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