now i know why i became what i already was.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
