i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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