Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
