Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
