I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
