i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
